My name is Alayne White and I am the proprietress of Alayne White Spas located in Bristol and Providence.  I am so proud to be a business owner representing and industry that puts more women in business that any other industry - the spa industry. 98%.

Owning a business as a woman presents all kinds of interesting dynamics.  One of the most common questions I get from the many women I come in contact with is How do you do it all? YIKES! Is this the image that I am setting for the women out there? When I hear that fateful question I feel like I should apologize. After all, what is 'doing it all' and at what cost does that image do to us as women in this world?

Before we get started, I have a simple exercise for you to do:

Write down 1-2 things that give you a sense of heartfelt joy, like it could be a walk on the beach, or knitting or going to a museum...anything that speaks to your spirit as a woman.

Now I would like you to take one -2 two minutes to write down every single thing you did today from the moment you woke up until this very moment.
Now cross out all of the things that are not very interesting to your soul.
Now circle everything that made your heart sing. How many do you have on your paper that you have done today that have made your heart sing and are satisfying to your soul?  (I am assuming that most will not have more than 1-2)
My question to you is why? When did we stop taking care of our souls and our spirits? When did we stop thinking we have a choice?

We are wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, caregivers, babysitters. We are booger wipers, chefs, housecleaners,.We are bosses and employees. We are leaders and divine goddesses, but we are also sex objects, lackies, doormats. We eat too much, we don't eat enough, we drink too much and then question ourselves if we are drinking too much, we under exercise, we over exercise, we are hard on ourselves. My head spins just listing all of the different roles we play in the world and we better be perfect at all of them or else. Or else what?

I was listening to a speaker yesterday at an event I went to, Jane Wurwand, founder of Dermalogica, and she said that she is asked often, how does she balance it all? And she answers that it is not balance at all, but resilience. After all, how in the world could it be humanly possible for us to balance what we do?

Resiliency is who we are.

She went on to say, 'We as women must refuse to be defined by the events of our lives, but instead must demand how we respond to them.'

That in fact is resiliency in a nutshell. We all have a choice on how we live our life's purpose; we just conveniently forget and then let that be the guiding light of our world. What is your guiding light, your life purpose? If you don't know it, the exercise above can be the catalyst for discovering it.

When was the last time you really honestly asked yourself what is important to you?

When was the last time you wrote it down and truly defined it for yourself? Today is the day to begin your self rediscovery.

My life purpose may seem because I own spas to perpetuate the image to women that we need to be more beautiful, in fact it is just the opposite, I created my spas to be a sanctuary for women to come and feel safe and comfortable in their skin. To feel beauty rather than to have women think they have to look beautiful. I want women to feel more at peace in their skin.

I don't carry magazines in either of my spas because I think they perpetuate an inadequate image of women. I want women to come to our spas feeling like they could come in their pajamas, like they don't have to get dressed up to come in. I have been to those spas and they miss the whole point. Women need hugs and love and support from other women; my spa is an excuse to give that feeling. That is my life purpose, to create an environment where women can feel more than adequate about who they are and to feel their inner beauty even if it is just for an hour facial. I am proud to be a woman, a resilient woman and I am honored to be able to share my thoughts with all of you today. Thank you for the opportunity.